this is definitely some sort of mental masturbation

3 March
I was born and now I'm living. Trying to maximize the fun while it lasts.
I am a mass murderer of microorganisms by day, and a fanfic reader/writer by night.
The USSR, Israel and the US have been my homelands. And NYC. No, NYC is not part of the USA.
The fanfic I have written can mostly be categorized as (a) Hook/Pan from Peter Pan, (b) David/Jonathan from the bible, with a smattering of other things. My latest obsession? Dale/Saul from Pineapple Express.

I vaguely co-mod heteroclitical and peterpanslash.

Content is rated about a PG-13 for stuff outside of cuts, and NC-17 is always labeled as such.

What little fanfiction I have written (contains NC-17s, chan, and other things that may very well offend somebody out there casually browsing, so you have been forewarned)

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
how neatly spreads his claws.
And welcomes little fishes in,
with gently smiling jaws.

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Vitas (Витас) is amazing 4-octave Russian singing LOVE
1984, a clockwork orange, adrien brody, alexander hamilton, alexander the great, alice in wonderland, american beauty, amphibian man, anatomy, ancient egypt, ancient greece, ancient rome, angst, anorexic-looking guys, anti-censorship, aragorn/legolas, biking, biology, blazing saddles, bondage, brandon lee, brokeback mountain, bros before hos, cabinboy abuse, candide, captain hook, cate blanchett, cats with dog personalities, children's literature, christopher walken, colonel tavington, crime and punishment, danny elfman, danny mcbride, darkfic, david/jonathan, death, death note, edgar allan poe, edward scissorhands, enemy slash, eradicated diseases, eric bana, fan videos, fanart, fanfiction, film, finding neverland, french, frustrated child aesthetes, genetics, geoffrey rush, george orwell, grima wormtongue, gulliver's travels, guys with eyeliner, hamlet, hebrew, hector, hephaistion, hiking in the rain, historical fiction, hook/pan, hook/wendy, hugh jackman, hurt/comfort, immortality, israel, j.m. barrie, jack skellington, jack sparrow, jack the ripper, james franco, jason isaacs, jeremy irons' voice, jim carrey, johnny depp, jon stewart, judaism, killing peter pan, lawrence of arabia, legolas' awesome cg stunt, lewis carroll, lj etiquette, lord of the rings, loveless, lucius malfoy, macabre, mark twain, mel brooks, mindnumbing entertainment, monkey island, mozart, mrs. darling/peter, mythology, nightmare before christmas, non-con, obscure homoerotic historical fiction, obsessive love, oliver!, one piece, opposites attracting, oscar wilde, paul newman, peter o'toole, peter pan, peter pan no boken, peter pan slash, peter/wendy, pineapple express, pirates, pirates of the caribbean, pisces, pre-modern medicine, prince of egypt, procrastinating, prostitution, psycho, ralph fiennes, ribcages, ridiculously bitter chocolate, roald dahl, robin hood, russian cartoons, seth rogen, sex-related history, sexy arrogant men, shakespeare, skeletal structure, sleepy hollow, snorkeling, squick, stage beauty, stanley kubrick, swimming in mountain lakes, terminator 1 and 2, the crow, the hobbit, the persian boy, tim burton, tim curry, torturefic, toy story, tragic hotness of evil, van helsing/dracula, villains, vitas, voltaire, weapons, yaoi